A six-step idea for the Opening Ceremonies

(1) Carl stands on a platform above a giant balance scale and starts shaving his body. When enough hair drops onto the scale, it tips and hits a tuning fork. (2) Heins hears the tuning fork's pitch and begins singing an incredibly loud note next to a huge glass of tequila. Soon the glass breaks, sending tequila running directly into (3) White's mouth, who's standing beneath it. When White's done drinking the tequila, he gets drunk and gets into an SUV. He drives about a quarter mile before (4) crashing into a canopy shielding Bauer from the sun's harmful UV rays. Bauer instantly turns red from sunburn, causing a bull at a nearby farm to start charging towards him. (5) Ner finds this so hilarious that he throws Bauer the hook. Attached to Ner's hook is a magnifying glass, which, at its raised level, (6)causes the sun's rays to heat up the KPMG torch, situated right next to Ner. 7) The games begin.