if you people are seriously too fat to play tetherball, then you are truly fat fucks. tetherball is a good closer. but, after some analysis, here is what i have concluded:
it seems that, despite the random nature of game selection, current and past choices for the games have fallen into a few distinct categories (anna solved this equation for me).
1. luck games - games involving miniscule amounts of talent or experience, but ultimately being more influenced by natural elements. games falling into this category are bocce, frisbee golf, croquet, and i would say horseshoes, except it falls into a later category.
2. semi-athletic games - games that require some degree of physical exertion and possibly additional skill. tetherball, as we've noticed, badminton, doubles minton, and physical strength games like tug of war would fall in here as well.
3. finesse games - those games that are usually dominated by one player or a couple who have an innate ability or lots of practice. these are ping pong and horseshoes (mostly because nobody can touch me in shoes).
4. strategy and brains - obviously, risk and trivial pursuit, although selection of teams for badminton could fall into this category due to the nature of the sport.
that said, here's what i think about them.
frisbee golf is a shitty game. it's always played as an afterthought while other games are going on, and one errant throw can ruin your standings. plus, it's practically the same game as bocce, but with frisbees. get rid of it.
tetherball can be a solid showcase and a prime opportunity to make fun of the less athletic competitors. i like it, and i think you fat bastards can suck it up for 5 minutes of ball swinging.
i love horseshoes, but i destroy everyone in it, and it seems like a downer most of the time. despite the fact that i would most likely earn my team a victory in this game, it's too one-sided, and thus, not fun.
so - what i think we need is a pretty even distribution of the different types of games. if we had the adventure race thing, it would be a good balance of athleticism and strategy and finesse. tug of war would be quick and fun, and i think teams are fairly well-balanced with strength. i think we eliminate frisbee golf and shoes, without replacing golf because we have games like it. replace shoes with something sort of similar but cooler, and add the race and tug of war. and fucking keep tetherball you douchebags.
also, august 23rd is my vote or i need a new team. its one week after the 16th, and the weekend of the trois tournament, so other sv folk will be home at the time.
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6 comments:
Fuck you, I love frisbee golf. Plus I think it is a nice game to throw in the mix. I can see taking shoes out but at the same time it may be necessary simply because one of the greatest KPMG moments occurred during shoes. (Can anyone say, "Bauer topped a ringer for the win. Fuck you.")
The 23rd just seems so fucking late you pricks. Plus, wouldn't some people want to play in the Rachel Trois?
wow, great constructive criticism. "fuck you, i love frisbee golf." oh, yeah, good point, then we should DEFINITELY keep it in the games.
who the fuck wants to play softball instead of KPMG??
and, try having Bauer top a ringer when nobody can score 3 fucking points on me. fuck YOU.
Yeah Dane you fucking turd burgular. The last thing I want to do is save my team from getting knocked out of the RT tournament by being the fastest kid out there, laugh a the first baseman catching the ball 10 feet behind me and then here the fucking overweight undersighted ump call me out. Thats a freaking downer man which is why I will never return to those games unless it means they will get rained out and we all go to the village to drink and realize that we can drink even cheaper by buying beers and sitting in my basement.
On a KPMG note, you don't want to have frisbee golf because even though Mil-Mil says it isn't skill; it is. And I have it. Thats what hippies do; they throw fucking frisbees. So if you want to continue your reign of greatness your best move would be to listen to your brother and I because we are both telling you to eliminate two events which we would dominate.
Seems so late? Fuckwaad! Late is im 23 months pregnant, late is I'm gonna graduate in another 6 years, late is your overdue library fine is $1,284,344.95. Late is not the 4th weekend in August instead of the 3rd! What the hell is worng with you?
PS I know this would overload the brain section but how about chess?
Hahahhaa....FUCK HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! We already had chess and risk and they did not work out and I do not think they will work out. Especially chess. I like it but it takes way too long and the same goes for risk. Plus the leader of the games at that point always ends up getting gang banged by everyone. We need shorter games. I still like frisbee golf. Hafer, you may be good but it is a team total. 3 mediocre pitchers beat one great pitcher and two shitty ones.
Make it a fucking timed game and have a goddamn round robin and use more than one fucking chess board. Whatever.
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